It's Cheap for a Reason

To hell with your fancy schmancy Frenchie Bordeaux, I say! Let's have wine for the plebeians! Wine for the unwashed masses! Power to the people. Right on! Too long have we suffered under the oppression of rich, cultured wine makers foisting their over-priced grape juice on gullible wine drinkers incapable of telling the difference between Chateau Latour and Turning Leaf. Too long have we paid through the nose for a decent glass of vino. No more I say! No more! It's time for a revolution in wine!

Ooo…I like that. “It's time for a revolution in wine.”® That's my new motto.

Actually, my new motto should be, “Crap! It's Monday night and I have to write another damn wine column! Man, I'm goin' broke.”

Wine is expensive stuff. If I tasted three $20 bottles of wine every week for this column, I'd be homeless in a minute. And let's get real here; how many of you have ever bought a bottle that I recommended, much less a $20 bottle I recommended? I thought so.

I don't mean to slum it intentionally, but given the combination of the cost of decent wine and the Beat's audience (no offense intended to anyone), popping a Chateau Lafite Rothschild for this column is probably a waste of time.

And anyway, I kind of enjoy searching for diamonds in the dumpster. OK, maybe that's not the best metaphor, but if I can find a decent pinot noir for under $5, I'm all for it (good luck with that, by the way).

I already reviewed Two Buck Chuck, so who could possibly be next? Well, I got a hot tip from a hip tipster that Grocery Outlet was the happening place to score some hot wine deals. With the motto “Bargains Only!” I knew I was on the right track before I even entered the store.

As soon as you enter the store you are overwhelmed by a wall o' wine. I almost peed myself in anticipation of the "bargains" to come. In fact, there were too many great “bargains” to choose from, so I limited myself to four.

Evans-Tate 2003 Margaret River

A typically Aussie blend of shiraz, cabernet sauvignon and merlot, this wine promised a lot for two bucks. And boy did it deliver! First hit on the nose: cork taint. Barf-o-rama! There's nothing worse than a corked wine. What's “cork taint” you ask? A corked wine has been tainted by a nasty chemical (2,4,6-trichloroanisole, for you smarty pants out there) that gives wine a characteristic smell and flavor of wet cardboard or moldy basement. I think I might be getting a clue to why it's only $1.99. Bottom line: wine this bad for two bucks is a waste of two bucks. 0 stars.

Fresno State 2004 Grenache

I knew I had to have this as soon as I saw it. Fresno State is bottling and selling their own wine? Cool! Chico State could learn a lot from their example. Chico State could start a brewery program (it's a natural!) and name their different beers after University presidents. I'm sure the “Zingg Pale Ale” would be very popular. Not sure about the “Esteban Lager” though.

Back to the wine. It sucks. Plain and simple. It's super light in color with the ever so appealing aroma of pencil shavings and cough syrup. Flavor-wise, the fruit was very over-ripe and the finish had a real cough-syrupy bitterness. See what happens when you let students make things? $3.99. 0.5 stars.

Covey Run 2004 Columbia Valley Sauvignon Blanc

Covey Run is a big producer of occasionally decent wines from Washington. I had high hopes for this one. On the nose an explosion of muskmelon, apricot and truckloads of Papaya. Wow! If it tasted anything like this, it would be a steal. Sadly, it didn't. Typically light and grassy for a sauvignon blanc, the tons of fruit vanished on the tongue, leaving a hollow, slightly thin wine with a tart, unbalanced finish. Disappointing, and not as good as the Two Buck Chuck sauvignon blanc. $1.49. 2 stars.

Lussac 2003 Saint-Emilion

Saint Emilion is one of the major wine regions in Bordeaux. Lussac Saint-Emilion is a lesser known wine region just north of Saint-Emilion proper. Since this bottle lacks a Chateau or Domaine name, I'm assuming that this represents leftover grapes bottled by some wine merchant trying to unload the wine for cheap.

Typically Bordeaux on the nose: earthy, with notes mushroom and cellar. Typically Bordeaux on the tongue as well, with good structure but not much fruit. My only complaint is that it has somewhat strong and bitter tannins on the finish. However, I think with a couple of years cellaring, this will be a pretty decent wine. Not for fruit lovers, but if you like Bordeaux on a budget, this wine is for you. $3.99. 3 stars.

Okay, so we didn't find too many "bargains" at Grocery Outlet, but for 4 bottles under $12, at least I didn't break the bank. And word on the street has it that Big Lots is the next big cheap wine hot spot. As always, I'll be hot on the case.

Wine Clubbing

Drinking wine can impair your judgment, like the time last spring when my judgment was sufficiently impaired to cause me to smack my forehead into a wine glass. And though my forehead won the contest easily, I was left looking a little bit like a badly drunk, 50 year-old Harry Potter.

Perhaps not as bad as permanent physical disfigurement, wine drinking, or more specifically, wine tasting can also lead to severely impaired judgment regarding wine clubs.

Now, there are two major types of “wine clubs” out there. The ones that you see in the back of magazines are independent rip off schemes. They’re not scams per se - if you sign up, you’ll get your wine. But typically these clubs are for the totally clueless and sell truly hideous plonk from labels nobody’s ever heard of at outrageous mark ups. Actually, they probably make most of their money on shipping, charging double what it really costs to ship the bottles.

Nancy sez, “just say no” to these kinds of wine clubs. Don’t even be tempted by their claims of getting “rare” or “limited edition” wines. Yeah, right.

The other type of wine club is much more enticing, partly because you can actually get some great wines from them. These are the wine clubs run by the wineries. Every winery in America, no matter how small, has it’s own wine club.

It’s the perfect gig. How many businesses have the opportunity to bring you in, get you tanked and then pitch you on the fabulous benefits of getting their incredible product automatically delivered right to your door? Trust me, every business on the planet would love to be able to do this.

And it works. Sadly, even on me.

Here’s how winery wine clubs work. You sign up (“It’s free!!”). Then, two, three, four times a year after that you get the thrill of receiving a credit card bill with an extra $50, $100 or even $400 on it. WTF!?!?! “Honey!! Have you been sneaking out to the casinos again? I thought we talked about your little ‘problem.’”

About the time you get out of the hospital, a huge box turns up on your doorstep full of bottles. Congratulations! You now have two or six or twelve new bottles of wine to drink!

Sounds great, right? Well, aside from the cardiac exercise that I get when the credit card bill unexpectedly arrives, I have some issues with wine clubs.

First of all, they don’t always give you the choice of wines that they ship you. You can imagine how thrilled I am to receive a half-case of chardonnay. “For this I paid $150?”

Second, it ain’t all great wine. For some reason, wines at the winery all seem to taste pretty darn good – especially by the time you get to the fourth or fifth winery. And even if you only sign up for wine clubs at wineries that are really good, nobody is great at every kind of wine. They might make a fantastic syrah but a crappy barbera. Guess which one they send you.

Third, they try to make you feel special. There’s the annual Wine Club Members Only barbecue. The annual Wine Club Members Only dinner and tasting. The annual Wine Club Members Only release party. The Wine Club Members Only special vintage (which of course, is not included in your quarterly shipment, and has to be purchased and paid for separately).

I get it already! I’m special! I’m especially broke from buying all this wine and making all these Members Only trips to some winery 100 miles away to hang out with other “special” people with whom the only thing I have in common is that we’re all especially stupid enough to join a wine club.

And when the Members Only dinner is over, we all hop on the short bus for the long ride home.

I’m not saying “do not join winery wine clubs, period.” I’m saying caveat emptor – let the buyer beware. If you’ve been out wine tasting all day, everything starts to taste pretty good. And after enough stops, your pliability and gullibility go up while your judgment goes down. Before you know it, you’re having cardiac moments with your credit card bill.

So stop and think. Do I really want to sign up for this? Is this wine that great?

P.S. Anyone want to take over a couple great wine club memberships? Fantastic wines! Great benefits! Anyone?

Chuck the Two-Buck Chuck?

Finally, the column you've been waiting for. After several months of anticipation, with the entire blogosphere rife with speculation as to when I would finally keep my promise, here it is: my review of the entire line of Charles Shaw fine wines, better known as “Two-Buck Chuck.”

Two-Buck Chuck, for the four of you out there who don't already know, is the house brand wine for Trader Joe's (that Mecca for middle-aged, middle-class pseudo-hippies looking for cheap natural foods).

Two-Buck Chuck is actually made by the Bronco Wine Company, which recently lost a lawsuit concerning their misleading use of the word “Napa” on wines not from Napa, but from Lodi (which is where most of your Chuck hails from). Bronco wines is a large and notable producer of lower end wines.

And nothing is lower end than Two-Buck Chuck. I mean really, $1.99 a bottle? You expect to pay 20-30 times that for a solid, but not top-of-the-line, Napa Valley Cabernet. The 2005 Chateau Latour is expected to debut at about 400 times the cost of a bottle of Charles Shaw.

Can this stuff even be drinkable? Or is it the greatest bargain in the world of wine?

Sadly, there's only one way to find out: Have a wine snob down the swill and report back to you. God forbid you should cough up two bucks and taste it yourself.

The only reason I subject myself to this sort of treatment is because I know that you get a sick and perverted pleasure from seeing a wine snob lower himself to your pitiful level and grovel in the common juice of non-pedigreed grapes. People like you love nothing more than seeing the mighty brought low. And what worse way to do it than to subject a highly trained and refined palate to the lowest of the low: the dreaded, the God-awful, the sewer-spawned Two-Buck Chuck. Damn you.

Charles Shaw 2005 California Sauvignon Blanc

Very light and grassy on the nose, typical of a good sauv. blanc, with hints of lemon peel and papaya. Yum. Light and refreshing on the tongue with citrus and herb notes. Overall, a bit like a non-sweet wine cooler. I'd drink this on a hot day without reservation. Hey, Chuckie-boy comes through with a wine that's actually non-toxic. I'm impressed! “Enjoyable.” 3 stars.

Charles Shaw 2005 California Chardonnay

Ugh. Chardonnay. Not my favorite. But this one comes off nice on the nose with strong hints of butter and cream with a touch of herbs thrown in. On the tongue it's very smooth, but light for a chardonnay (which I personally like). Not oaky at all, but very creamy. As a chardonnay hater, this is my favorite chardonnay of all time. “Drinkable+.” 2.75 stars.

Charles Shaw 2006 California Shiraz

2006? This thing is a baby. It should be illegal to drink this stuff. This is a very light wine. On the nose, this has some light fruit aromas, with a ton of vanilla smacking you around. On the tongue, very light and tart, no hint in sight of the typical shiraz blast of black fruit and black pepper. In a blind test, I would have guessed that this was a $10 Chianti. Not a “real” a shiraz – for shame. “Drinkable, but barely.” 2.25 stars.

Charles Shaw 2005 California Merlot

Smells like a dirt clod. No, a garden full of green peppers. And green beans. And unripe tomatoes. Maybe a couple of zucchini plants. Surprising and surprisingly attractive. On the tongue, not much fruit, but a nice complexity (for a $2 bottle of wine, anyway). A bit of a metallic taste on the finish, but that fades quickly. I actually liked this one a lot, but the unripe fruit flavors will only appeal to “old world” fans. Fruit-lovers stay away. “Yum (for me anyway)!” 3 stars.

Charles Shaw 2004 California Cabernet Sauvignon

Mmmmm…soap. At least, the first hit on the nose was definitely soapy, and we all know how good soap tastes. Also, a touch of dark fruit, a hint of vanilla, and a whiff of shoe polish. On the tongue, a strong hit of vanilla and oak (but not overpowering) and a bit of raspberry. Very tart and simple with mild tannins. Thankfully the soap smell doesn't carry over. Not impressive. Very light for a cabernet. “Non-toxic, but who cares.” 2 stars.

I'm amazed. None of these wines were the vile, dreadful, toxic sludge that I was expecting. And a couple of them were wines that I wouldn't mind actually drinking. So, drink up Charles Shaw fans, you could do a lot worse and pay a lot more!

A Random Selection of Wines

Before I get to tasting the wines I've selected for this column (using a complex double blind technique where I just review any wine that I've tasted recently), I should cover some local wine news.

Unfortunately, it's bad news. It appears that CostPlus World Market, purveyors of a wide selection of "moderately-priced" wines from around the world, is down-scaling their wine selection. On a recent trip I noticed that both the quantity and quality of their wines has gone down. The selection appears to have moved much more toward the low end. "Mid-range" wines (i.e., wines in the $25+ range) have virtually disappeared, aside from the required bottle of Opus One. The few Chateauneuf du Papes they once carried have vanished, replaced by low-end plonky Bordeaux that are probably worth skipping. Even the variety of lower-end wines has shrunk noticeably. The good news is that their selection of Italian wines appears to have about doubled, and they still have a few excellent bargains (see below). I'm hoping this change is just an anomaly as they move things around in the store, but I doubt it.

Jim Barry 2004 Clare Valley Shiraz “The Lodge Hill”

Here's a serious Auzzie shiraz. On the nose, a delightful spiciness that develops into serious aromas of camphor, eucalyptus, oregano and a touch of citrus peel. Sounds more like an herbal tea than a wine, but this complex spiciness is more than offset by a base of dense dark fruits. On the palate, strongly spicy, carrying over the camphor flavor, counterbalanced by dark rich flavors of blackberry and black cherry. A bit of a floral flourish on the finish. Fruity, but miles from simple plonk. 3.75 stars. $22 at Vino 100.

Rosemount 2003 Vintner's Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot Petit Verdot

Here's another Auzzie wine, but this one's a classic Bordeaux-style blend. Extremely dense color with dark cherry and deep succulent blackberry on the nose. Dense and chewy on the palate. This is a great wine for the price - a well balanced wine with plenty of fruit, but sufficient complexity to make it much more than a simple fruit bomb. Worth the price and more. Fortunately, this is one wine that CostPlus still has plenty of. 3.25 stars. $7.99 at CostPlus World Market.

Hahn Estates 2005 Meritage

Another wine that CostPlus thankfully still carries, this one is a Bordeaux-style blend of cabernet sauvignon, merlot, cabernet franc and malbec from California. Lots of raspberry and black cherry fruit, edging toward the jammy style, but well balanced. Obvious oak, with a hint of wood smoke. Mild tannins. If you like approachable, "fruit-forward" red wines, you'll definitely like this. 3.5 stars. $14.99 at CostPlus.

Jean Luc Columbo 2004 Cote du Rhone

Wine Spectator recently rated the 2005 vintage of this wine 88 points, so when I saw this in CostPlus I figured I give it a try. Racy and spicy on the nose, with strong hints of dark bramble. On the tongue, juicy strawberry and cherry pop flavors. Very fleshy, soft fruit; a bit flabby with no apparent tannins. A light, friendly and approachable wine, but one ultimately lacking in depth and complexity. Something of a disappointment, particularly for a French wine. 2.5 stars. $9.99 at CostPlus.

Cloudline Willamette Valley Pinot Noir

I had this recently at Monks Wine Lounge in downtown Chico. I don’t know the vintage off hand, but I’m sure that someone there can tell you. A nice medium-bodied Oregon pinot noir – very smoky, earthy and musty on the nose. Very smooth on the tongue, but with a nice tartness to perk up your taste buds. Spicy, with strong notes of the earthy mustiness coming through. Wonderful pinot. 4 stars. Available by the glass or bottle at Monks.

Zombies, Anarchy and the Fine Art of Wine Tasting

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just feeling a bit insecure. But I’ve started to wonder a little about where this wine column fits in the Chico Beat.

In last week’s issue my column was sandwiched between an article on anarchism and Craig Blamer’s 47th column on his obsession with zombie movies (OK, last week it was a vampire movie).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally down with anarchy (as long as someone fixes the roads… and makes sure that my broadband is working). And Blamer’s column is one of my favorite reads in the Beat (aside from my own incredibly witty and well-written screed).

But last time I checked, a full-bodied Bordeaux with hints of cedar-box on the nose and well-integrated tannins was not the beverage of choice for anarchists. Or zombies (or vampires, for that matter, though I’m sure something red would be appropriate).

I’m thinking that the Chico Beat has a little more attitude and edge than a wine column can probably generate. Wine is the preferred beverage of well-heeled yuppies driving their gas-guzzling Hummers, not punked-out anarchists queuing up to watch the latest splatfest.

On the other hand, wake up and smell the merlot, this is Chico not Los Angeles. It’s rare to see REAL anarcho-punks in Chico. Maybe there are a few, but let’s face it, Chico’s a Birkenstock town, full of liberals and effeminate intellectual types. And as the article pointed out, even a talk on anarchy only brought out a couple dozen middle-aged hippies trying to work up a bit of angst.

By now, those hippies’ 401Ks must be getting pretty fat and Birkenstocks aren’t cheap, so maybe a nice glass of wine is something they could both afford and appreciate while they chant "down with the man".

Not sure what to say about the zombies and their aficionados, though. But I’m thinking something red and not too heavy (maybe a nice Burgundy or an Oregon pinot noir) might pair well with human brains. Suffice to say it’s not an area that I’m expert in. If you give it a try, let me know how it works.

OK, I feel better now that I’ve convinced myself that it’s really possible that someone in Chico has a copy of The Wine Bible on a bookshelf next to The Anarchist Cookbook.

Anyway, the next time you decide to meet to plan the violent overthrow of Fascist Amerika, or get together with friends to share some fresh brains, think about adding wine tasting to the menu.

So-called “wine tasting groups” (as opposed to “wine clubs” which tend to be commercial ventures) are an exploding phenomenon in this country, and not just among ex-hippie anarchists and zombies.

The idea is that a group of like-minded people get together every month to taste and talk about wine. The venue changes every month so that one person is not always stuck cleaning up the mess.

Everyone (or perhaps every couple) brings a bottle to taste. You’re not going to polish off all that wine (hopefully), but that's OK. And (again, hopefully) you'll have a designated driver so that people don’t get on the road and create anarchy (I mean the bad kind of anarchy, of course).

It’s best to have a theme and a price range so that you don’t have a box of Almanden Blush Red going up against a 2000 Chateau Mouton Rothschild. A couple of ideas to get you started:

• Australian wines between $10-20
• Wines that go with Thai food
• Rosés that don't suck (I double dare you)
• Cabernet Sauvignon from around the world (under $30)

I find that tastings are the most educational if you do a real blind tasting. All you need to do that are some brown paper bags and a felt pen. Put the bottles in the bags and then write a number on each bag. As people taste each wine, they write notes on each, referring to the wine’s number. When everyone has tasted, the bags are removed and the wines are revealed. Fun!

If you really want to get carried away, sites like www.meetup.com have a whole section on wine tasting groups (they also have a section on asexuality, but that only has one group with 3 members… which sounds like a recipe for trouble, if you know what I mean). In fact, wine is the eighth most popular group, just ahead of witches.

The key to success in starting a wine tasting group is finding enough people who really have a desire to learn about wine and a willingness to share their knowledge and experiences. I’ve always wanted to start up such a group, but never really had the time (or enough friends to make it anything more than four people getting wasted).

If you’re an anarcho-zombie and you’d like to be a part of a local Chico/Paradise wine tasting group, contact me through the Chico Beat and maybe we can get our own group started. Our first tasting will be wines that pair with brains. Mmmmmm...brains.

Becoming a Wine Connoisseur: Part II

Last week I managed to waste an entire column talking about my testicles and trying different wines. And though both are important, this is a wine column and I need to focus on making you a wine connoisseur.

Step 2: Dick and Jane Read About Wine (while Spot gets plastered)

You’ll only get so far by randomly tasting different wines. It really helps if you know something about the wines you’re tasting. That’s where book larnin’ can come in handy. Books are the cheap and easy way of becoming – if not a wine connoisseur – then at least knowledgeable about wine.

But which books? A search for “wine” at amazon.com turned up 239,546 results. Ouch! That’s a hell of a lot of readin’ before you can get your buzz on. There’s gotta be a way to trim that down a bit.

Probably the best way is to break the books into types. Not every wine book serves the same purpose, and knowing what you’re looking for can really help you out when you stroll into Barnes and Noble. I break wine books into five categories.

Wine Courses

I call these books “courses” because that’s what they often call themselves. They are generally introductory books on wine, covering the basics on how wine is made, where it’s made, what grapes are used, etc. If you know nothing about wine, these books are the place to start.

Wine for Dummies – This is actually a pretty darn good book that breaks down wine into very understandable terms. Unfortunately, you’ll have to hide this under your bed – no true connoisseur would ever be caught dead with “Wine For Dummies”.

Great Wine Made Simple (Andrea Immer Robinson) – I really like Andrea Immer (now Robinson); she keeps things fun and simple, just like the book’s title. She manages to cover a lot of ground while giving you fun hands-on tasting assignments to boot.

Wine Encyclopedias

Once you have a basic handle on the difference between Burgundy and Bordeaux, you might want to gain more specific knowledge about wines of particular regions. That’s where the wine encyclopedia comes in, generally replete with history, background, types of wines, and examples of specific producers for each wine region in the world.

The Wine Bible (MacNeil) – Probably the single most popular wine book on the market, it combines a bit of the wine primer with the encyclopedia. However, there are no color pictures or maps, so I've never liked it.

The New Sotheby’s Wine Encyclopedia – OK, this is the real deal. If you want the lowdown on every winemaking region on the globe, this is the book. Lots of great background info, plus lists of specific recommended producers and lot of color pictures and maps! Overkill for all but the true wine geek.

Wine Guides

The purpose of wine guides is to help you decide which wines are good. They contain lists and lists of wines, with scores and notes and ratings. I generally don’t like wine guides for the simple reason that I can never actually find or buy any of the wines they recommend, and I don’t always share the same taste as the author. Still, people love these books.

Andrea Robinson's 2007 Wine Buying Guide for Everyone – This is about the only wine guide that I consistently like, both because Andrea includes wines that you can find most anywhere and because she’s generally right on for my taste.

Wine Stories

Once you really get hooked into the world of wine, you might want to know the history of the 1976 Paris tasting, or the rise and rise and rise of the world’s most powerful wine critic…but I’m going to leave all that for another day.

Wine and Food

Wine was made to go with food, and there’s a whole art and science to wine and food pairing.

Everyday Dining with Wine (Andrea Immer) – Organized by varietal, this book gives good background info on each grape and tons of tasty recipes to go with each.

What to Drink with What you Eat (Dornenburg and Page) – I love this book. Look up a food and it tells you what drink (wine, beer, cocktail, tea) goes best with it. Look up a wine and it tells you what foods go best with it. Best wine with salmon? Oregon pinot noir. Wow.

Of course, there are 239,539 other books on wine out there that I didn't cover, but hey, I’m pushing my word count as it is.

Becoming a Wine Connoisseur: Part I

People approach me all the time and ask me how to become a wine connoisseur. Well, now, for a limited time only, all of my secrets can be yours for only three payments of $19.95!!

I wish.

Nobody asks me how to become a wine connoisseur, and they certainly don't pay me $60 to learn what little I know. What does happen with way too much frequency is that people say to me, "I'm not a wine connoisseur like you, but I really liked this wine I tasted."

Get a clue, people, I'm no wine connoisseur. Sure, I like wine, and yes, I've learned a little about wine. But I'm far from a "connoisseur." People think I'm an expert because they've convinced themselves that wine is terribly esoteric and requires years of learning from “master sommeliers” to understand. That's the really weird thing about wine: people make it out to be some high mystery, presided over by Masonic priests in white robes, sharing secret handshakes and chanting mumbo jumbo.

Some wines, like Burgundy, are really complicated, and nobody really understands them. But it's not really all that hard to know something about wine. And as long as you know a single thing more than the crapulous cretin next to you, you'll look like an expert. How do you think I've fooled you for this long?

Enough blabbering you say, "here's my $60; make me a wine expert just like you."

Sigh. OK, I'll do it. I'll show you how to know as much about wine as I do.

But first things first. Please make your check out to “Anthony Dunn” and send it to me in care of the Chico Beat.

Step 1: Put down the Thunderbird and step slowly away

In order to learn something about wine, you have to be willing to try different wines. People (even highly trained and knowledgeable wine connoisseurs like myself) get stuck in ruts, drinking the same kind of wine over and over. “I bought a bottle of Gallo merlot and really liked it.” So now all you drink is cheap merlot? I almost guarantee that trying something new is not going to kill you.

In my particular case, when I started writing this column I knew nothing about white wines. To me, tannin equaled testosterone. Real men drank red wine, period. Only women and “girlie men” drank white wine, and I didn't want to be mistaken for either. Unfortunately, I had to face white wines sooner or later in this column, so I put my testicles in a drawer and tried some.

I wish I could say that I started with something manly sounding like Gewürztraminer, which could easily be mistaken for some Nazi secret weapons program, but I think I started with the much more feminine-sounding Riesling. Nonetheless, I discovered that I actually like some white wines, and that white wines will often pair with foods that are impossible to match to a red wine. Riesling, for example, is fantastic with Indian food.

The moral is that you'll never learn anything new if you don't try something new. “But, if I've never tried it, how do I know if it's any good?” Short answer: you don't. That's part of the process. You think that I know beforehand whether every wine I taste is any good? Ha! You gotta kiss a lot of toads in this business to find the princes. That's just a fact of life. And just because I liked it and Robert Parker liked it, that doesn't mean you'll like it. Everybody's tastes are different. You have to be willing to taste some bad wine if you want to taste some really good wine. Get over it.

You'll learn even more if you can taste several wines side-by-side to see how they differ. Even if you can't describe the difference (leave that to us wine connoisseurs, please), you can taste the difference. In the beginning, that's all that matters.

How can you do that without breaking the bank or having a blood alcohol level high enough to kill a mosquito? Monks is one idea. Vino 100 and Creekside Cellars are two others. All do wine tastings or flights.

Another method is to invite like-minded friends over and tell them each to bring a bottle they like. Not only is everyone guaranteed to have at least one wine they like, everyone gets to try something new. Just make sure everyone leaves their pretentiousness at home. I've had $10 bottles of wine that kicked the ass of some $100 bottles, so don't try bringing an expensive bottle in game of one-upmanship. Nobody cares.

Homework

Go into your favorite wine shop and randomly pick a bottle off the shelf of something you've never tried before. You might hate it, but you'll learn something.

Next week

Your second check for $19.95 will be due and I'll talk about wine and book larnin'.

Funky Monk-y

I'm pretty lazy. The last time I was at Monks was October, and I've been meaning to do a column on them since. I'm sure they wonder why I've ignored them for so long. Like I said, I'm just lazy.

With a name like “Monks Wine Lounge & Bistro” you'd expect an eclectic looking and hip joint. And though I ceased being a barometer of hipness back around the time The Sex Pistols were big, my guess is that Monks looks fairly hip. But I'm not much into décor. I'm into wine, and that's why I go there.

The last time I was there, I was told that they'd soon be updating and refining their wine list, and the first thing I noticed this time was that they'd refined it to be noticeably shorter than it had been before. My brow creased in an anticipatory frown.

Still, there were many interesting wines on the list (maybe 40 or so) and my partner and I went to town selecting the ones we wanted to taste. One cool thing about Monks is that they offer “flights” (small pours of three different wines of your choice) to maximize your tasting experience. This is a great concept and allows you to taste a wide variety of wines without falling on your face. Being a Thursday, it was red wine night (What? Don't tell me you didn't get the memo.), so we each picked three reds to swirl, sniff and taste.

My frown quickly dissolved into an appreciative smile as I began to work my way through the wines. Overall, these were excellent – really excellent – wines. I was impressed. It's clear that their wine list is much tighter and focused than it used to be. My only complaint is the outrageous shortage of syrahs. Only one? Tsk. Get thee to Domaine de la Terre Rouge!

Fathom, Babcock Vineyards (Santa Barbara)
A Bordeaux-style blend, this wine is built on a strong foundation of solid dark fruit flavors. Yummy, deep and complex, I can't imagine any fan of fruit-driven California cabs not liking this. $10/glass. 4 stars.

Casa Barranca Winery (Ojai)
I'm not sure exactly which wine we had, but I'm guessing it was their merlot-cabernet blend. Medium bodied and somewhat spicy, with nice structure. Again, very solidly fruit-driven, with decent tannins. Overall a very soft, fine wine. $11.50/glass. 4 stars.

Composition, Cloud 9 (California)
Though the Cloud 9 winery is located in the Sierra foothills, this wine tastes like a classic Napa Valley cabernet, with massive dark fruit backed by a level of depth and complexity not found anywhere near your average wine. Big, smooth and classy. This is the good stuff. $14.50/glass. 4.5 stars.

Spellbound Petite Sirah (Napa Valley)
This wine leaps out at you with an intense aroma of prunes. Flavors of plum, prune and raison explode in the dense fruit of this wine. Unfortunately, there's too much fruit, and this wine suffers from a severe lack of complexity. Though interesting on first taste, I tired of it very quickly. The only disappointment of the bunch. $12/glass. 2.25 stars.

Montirius Gigondas (France)
Gigondas is a town in the Rhone Valley of France, and this wine showed it's French heritage by being much less fruity than the California wines. A bit disappointing when first opened, but (typical of French wines), it evolved in the glass into a very refined offering. I'd avoid this for those who love intensely fruity wines, but I ended up being fairly impressed. $9/glass. 3.5 stars.

Rothschild Rouge (Bordeaux, France)
Ah, Bordeaux. Very earthy aromas of soil, forest and dust. On the tongue, complex and earthy with moderate fruit and almost a hint of smoked bacon – unmistakably Bordeaux. Interesting to compare to the Babcock or the Cloud 9. $10.50/glass. 4 stars.

A very impressive effort, but the real story of our evening at Monks was the food. Their variety of small plates presents some surprisingly tasty offerings.

Skip the cheese plate (which is perfectly fine) and go straight for the Pear, Red Onion and Gorgonzola Tart . Wow! What an intense medley of sweet, tart and savory flavors! This is what food should taste like!

If you're still hungry after that, get the Brie en Crouté – yummy, creamy brie baked in a crust with walnuts and a touch of honey. Nice counterpoint of flavors.

If you're in the mood for dessert, the Fried Cheesecake is creamy and dreamy – fried in tasty pastry and topped with blackberry and chocolate sauce – wow! It may sound weird, but it's totally worth a try.

Overall, this was a great and highly recommended experience, and one that I should repeat more often. Unfortunately, it wasn't a particularly cheap experience. Well, if you're looking for a cheap date, stop at Trader's Joe for a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and a couple of packages of frozen spinach Lasagna. If you want great food and good wine, Monks is the place to go.

Monks (www.monkswinelounge.com) is located on 2nd Street between Main and Broadway in downtown Chico.

Butte County: The Next Bordeaux?

A couple of columns back, I said something to the effect that a lot of locally produced wines suck. Yeah, "suck." That wasn't a very nice thing to say, but at least it wasn't stupid or racist like what Don Imus said. As a result, unlike Don Imus, I got to keep my job.

I'm thinking that's a mixed blessing, because I felt really guilty after I wrote that, and I convinced myself that I should try more local wines and do a column on them. Of course, if they su...er, "under perform", I'm bound (by whatever oath journalists take) to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And then I'll even more persona non grata with local wine makers than I am already.

I'm sure some of you are scratching your heads quizzically and saying, "Butte County has wineries? When did that happen?" Well, I'm not sure who opened the first winery in Butte County, but there are in fact several, some practically in Chico.

"But this isn't wine country," you say. Well, that's not really true. Sutter Home, jug wine producer extraordinaire, has several thousands of acres of vineyards in the Sacramento Valley.

"But that's my point. The valley is only capable of producing plonk." I disagree, and anyway, many of the local producers are up in the foothills where the climate is cooler. If you go father south, the Sierra foothills near Placerville and Angels Camp are full of wineries making outstanding wines. And anyway, who's the wine expert here? Oh, right. I am. So shut up! Sheesh!

Bertagna Son Kissed Vineyard 2005 Mestizo

The Bertagna's that make this wine are apparently related to, but not same as, City Councilman Steve Bertagna. Regardless of that (and the rather politically incorrect moniker of this wine), the Mestizo is an extremely drinkable blend of petite sirah, barbera and sangiovese. In many ways, this wine is similar to a nice Chianti. It's relatively light in color, with a tangy, bright, oaky nose. The sangiovese really comes through on the tongue; lightish and tart, but surprisingly smooth and well made. It was an incredible match with pizza. I was very pleasantly surprised with this wine and can genuinely recommend it to anyone. $13 at Vino 100. 3 stars.

Quilici Vineyards 2003 Barbera

Very light in color and surprisingly very cloudy - not a good sign. Strong aromas of oak and smoke, a bit spicy with a hint of cellar funk. Not a bad start. On the palate, however, the true character of this wine emerged with an overpowering tart astringency, a chemcially undertone and a very sour finish. Reminded me a lot of some of the horrible wines we had in Lodi. Sorry, but I just can't recommend this wine. $11 at Vino 100. 1 star.

Grey Fox 2003 Mendocino County Cabernet Sauvignon

When I was first getting into wine, the Grey Fox winery was the first winery that I visited, so you'd think I have fond memories and a strong bias. But I wasn't particularly impressed with anything I tasted other than their syrah port (which was pretty darned tasty). However, I did buy several bottles of their 2003 cab, which I put away for a rainy day.

Well, it was raining, and I got out this bottle. Very typically cab-like on the nose - dark fruit, earthy, mildly spicy, with hints of mocha. Off to a good start!

On the palate it was a bit disappointing. The hint of dark fruits was faint and fading, like memories of summer, while the tannins were strong, dry and assertive. Not a particularly promising combination, since you need big fruit in a wine in order to outlast big tannins. In this wine, the fruit was already fading, while the tannins were still going strong. Drink now, I'd say. Having said all that, this is not a poorly made wine. It's not over oaked (like so many wines from small wineries). Overall, this wine is well made - it just needs more fruit to combat the strong tannins. I'd be interested in seeing what subsequent vintages are like. 2.5 stars.

New Clairvaux 2006 St. James Block Viognier

Wow, what a wonderful wine! I'm constantly impressed with the wines coming out of New Clairvaux, and the viognier is no exception. Not a strongly fruity wine, but with hints of lemongrass on the nose that evolve into more typical floral notes. On the palate, a very dry, full-bodied and complex white wine. Very impressive and highly recommended. Available at Vino 100 or the winery. If you really want a nice local wine, this is one to drink. 3.5 stars.

Homework

You know, I think I know why the homework thing isn't working. I never ask anyone to turn their homework in. Well, that's going to change. This week's homework is to try a local wine, and you have one week from right now to send an email to the Beat about your local wine experience. Good? Bad? Ugly? If I don't get a response from you, you flunk wine class.

As to where to find local wines, Vino 100 has the best selection of local wines in town, or you can head out to the wineries and do your tasting there. Here's a few that you can check out:

New Clairvaux (www.newclairvauxvineyard.com)
Grey Fox (www.greyfox.net)
Odyssey Vineyards
Quilici Vineyards (www.quilicivineyards.com)
LaRocca Vineyards (www.laroccavineyards.com)
Long Creek Winery (www.longcreekwinery.com)

The White Savage

Summer is coming. As I write this, it feels like it's already here. But the forecast is that it'll be raining when you read this. So, summer is coming. Eventually.

And when summer finally does arrive, your average Chicoan will trade in their wine bottle for an ice cold Summerfest. But it doesn't have to be that way. It's true that hot weather isn't red wine weather, but there are plenty of cool, refreshing white wines out there to keep you inebriated all summer long. One of my personal favorites is sauvignon blanc.

Sauvignon blanc (SO-veen-yon BLAHN) hails from the Bordeaux and Loire Valley regions of France, but is grown in most wine producing regions of the world. California and New Zealand are particularly known for sauvignon blanc. The name roughly translates to "wild white" - from "sauvage", the French word for wild. But though the sauvignon blanc grape may be descended from wild grapes, it's not a wildly flavored wine. In fact, it is one of the lightest wines out there. Poorer sauvignon blancs can be weak to the point that they look and taste like water.

Flavor-wise, sauvignon blancs typically aren't hugely fruity. Where a Riesling might hit you over the head with a truckload of apricot and green apple, sauvignon blancs are often more herbaceous, with grassy notes. The most infamous characteristic of some sauvignon blancs is a pronounced aroma of cat pee. Yum! Pour me a tall steaming glass o' that!

In reality, of course, sauvignon blanc doesn't actually taste like cat pee (though it's a valid point that I don't really know that for a fact, even though I've owned several cats). Typically, sauvignon blancs are dry (not at all sweet), and have light citrus and herb notes, and a nice tart acidity that makes them very refreshing on a hot summer day. For my money, I'd rather have a sauvignon blanc than a chardonnay any day, but then I don't make any bones about not liking most chardonnays.

Geyser Peak 2005 California Sauvignon Blanc

This sauvignon blanc bucks the trend with strong sweet aromas of nectartine, apricot and lemon peel. Smells very refreshing. On the palate, it's a bit tart, but with no hint of the sweetness on the nose. Citrusy, lemon peel flavors dominate, to the point of being almost too strong. However, the tartness and acidity gave it a backbone that goes fantastically with food. Not a sipping wine; definitely a food wine. Available at Cost Plus. 3.25 stars.

Kim Crawford 2006 Marlborough New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc

New Zealand is the "in" place for sauv blanc these days, and Kim Crawford is a nearly ubiquitous label. Much milder nose than the Geyser Peak, with just a hint of green apple and citrus. On the tongue, it's a more full bodied wine, with notes of apricot and spice. Not as bitter as the Geyser Peak, but not as complex or refreshing either. Available at Cost Plus. 3 stars.

Chateau St. Jean 2005 Sonoma County Fumé Blanc

The name “fumé blanc” was made up by Robert Mondavi for an oaky sauvignon blanc that he produced – “fumé” meaning smoky in French. The name has stuck, but the meaning has gotten blurred. Some fumé blancs are pure sauvignon blanc, and some are blends of sauvignon blanc with other white grapes like Semillon.

The Chateau St. Jean is one of the blends, but it has much more typical sauvignon blanc characteristics than either of the first two wines. A bit herby on the nose, with less fruit than the first two wines. Definitely more grassy and hay-like. On the palate the herbaceousness carries through. Crisp, and full-bodied, with a smooth finish. Nice. Available at most grocery stores. 3.25 stars.

Chateau Marjosse 2003 Entre Deux Mers

This french sauvignon blanc from Bordeaux is very different from any of the other wines. More full-bodied and a deeper yellow. On the nose, clearly a more serious wine with less fruit and a more straw-like aroma, with a touch of dried peach and just a hint of that yummy cat pee. On the palate, very dry, firm and complex, slightly tart with a hint of grapefruit on the finish. Overall, this wine is in a different class than the others and can hold its own as a sipping wine or as a food wine. Available at Vino 100. 3.5 stars.

Homework

If you've never tried a sauvignon blanc, head out to your favorite wine shop and pick up a bottle. Stuff it in the back of the fridge and wait for a nice hot summer day. Then pull that puppy out and salud!

Ali vs. Frazier

I like perusing the wine selection in Costco. In their premium bin they actually have some very nice wines. Though the selection changes daily, you can always count on finding Dom Perignon, BV Georges de Latour, and even an occasional nice Bordeaux like Chaueau Haut Brion – for the bargain basement price of $250 a bottle. For the most part, however, their selection is heavy on California wines, and that's fine.

A while back I saw something I had never seen before, or even imagined was possible: a Kirkland Bordeaux. Kirkland, if you've ever bothered to notice, is the Costco house brand. That's right; Costco is bottling French Bordeaux under their house label. Ummm…

After I stopped laughing and managed to convince Costco security that I, a) wasn't a threat to their clientele, and, b) had money, I took a closer look. By God, that's what the label really said. “2003 Kirkland Signature Pauillac Bordeaux.” “Signature”, no less! Oo-la-la!

But who would buy Costco brand Bordeaux? Costco Bordeaux is a little like a Ronco space shuttle. It doesn't sound like such a great idea. I'm really not sure what market segment they were shooting for, but they hit the “snotty wine columnist looking for something to bash” market right on the head. “I gotta get me some of this!” I thought to myself. But at $25 a bottle, I restrained myself from buying a whole case, and left the store with a single cherished bottle.

For those of you who don't know, the Pauillac (pow-YAK) is probably the single most famous wine-making region of Bordeaux, of France, and therefore of the world. It's home to names that even you have heard of, including Chateau Latour, Chateau Lafite-Rothschild and Chateau Mouton-Rothschild. Dark, intense, cabernet sauvignon grapes are the primary ingredient in Pauillac Bordeaux. Snazzy – and expensive – stuff. Did that sort of pedigree run in the purple juice of Chateau Kirkland? I didn't know, but I was going to find out.

To make it interesting, I decided to do the classic face off: French Bordeaux vs. California cabernet. I had my Bordeaux; for my California cab challenger, there was only one place to go: Trader Joe's. I mean, really, what better wine to take on the Costco house brand than the infamous Two Buck Chuck? So I scored myself a bottle of 2002 Charles Shaw California Cabernet Sauvignon and headed home.

I couldn't wait to pop open these bad boys, but I figured I'd do this right. So I got out a couple of decanters and poured each bottle into its own decanter to breathe. I still promise to do a column on decanting (someday) but the short version is that letting the wine breathe for several hours in a decanter allows it do develop flavors and aromas. It's particularly effective on very complex wines, but it works even on the cheap stuff. OK, maybe not on Carlo Rossi Hearty Burgundy, but on most reds it's well worth decanting. Just trust me on this, OK?

So, I decanted the wines, but decided to have a small taste right out of the bottle, like your average Chateau Kirkland and Charles Shaw buyer would do.

Let's just say that they were both hideously vile. The Two Buck Chuck had the aroma of dust and strawberries and was very bitter on the finish. The Kirkland wasn't any better; if anything it was even more bitter. Undrinkable. 0.5 stars for both. Blech!

But after three hours both wines had “evolved” considerably.

The Kirkland had developed a slight and pleasant earthiness on the nose, with hints of blackberry and raspberry. Nice. On the palate it had lost the bitter finish, but it was replaced with really huge dry mouth-puckering tannins. Ouch! And that was about it. Not much fruit…not much anything. Nada. Zip. Bupkis. That was a hell of a long way to go for nothing. I was expecting to either discover an amazing bargain or (much more likely) a spectacularly nasty concoction more suited to spraying on cockroaches than to washing down a nice steak. But nothing? A big letdown. 1.5 stars.

The Charles Shaw fared better. The dust was gone from the nose, leaving clear red fruit notes. On the palate it wasn't particularly deep or complex, but I don't know what the heck you're expecting for $1.99. Mild fruit, balanced tannins. A bit hot on the finish, but not objectionable. Amazingly, this was an OK wine. I rate it “drinkable when there is absolutely nothing else to drink”. 2.5 stars.

Actually, the Charles Shaw cab was SO good (or at least sufficiently better than godawful) that it has inspired me to review the entire Two Buck Chuck line, which I think includes the cab, a merlot, a shiraz, a chardonnay, and maybe even a sauvignon blanc. Look for that in a future column. In the meantime, I'm taking suggestions. Any subjects that you want me to expansively expound upon with a dazzling display of educated erudition? Any wines that you'd like me to taste (sorry – I already did Thunderbird)? Let me know.

Oh, and by the way, if you want to see me doing the Costco vs. Trader Joe's taste off, you can watch it at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=816toJzgidM .

Vino Down Under

I love Australians. I'm not sure why. I guess it's because they're like big, happy-go-lucky Americans with cool accents. They're like Americans who don't have to carry the weight of being American around with them. They don't have a history of exploitive, self-serving and destructive foreign policy to weigh them down, so they seem happier and more innocent than most Americans. Maybe they wouldn’t appreciate the comparison (particularly these days), but to me Aussies are the coolest.

And, of course, I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. When I started getting into wine, I discovered that there was a whole ‘nuther reason to go. They make wine in Australia!

And I thought Australia was beer country. But the Aussies have been making wine for over 200 years. True, a lot of it was cheap, over-sweetened fortified plonk for the Brits (who have a notorious sweet tooth when it comes to wines), but eventually Australia began to produce some serious wines, worthy of global attention.

It was probably the 1980’s before quality wine making really started to take hold down under, but the Aussies were quick studies and started producing some top-notch wines. For some reason (that I wasn’t able to discern after doing a two-minute Google search on Australian wine history) the grape that Australia is most well known for is syrah.

No, no, no, you say. Australia is known for shiraz, not syrah. You say potato, I say potahto. Australian shiraz is made from the French syrah grape that hails from the Rhone Valley. The grape that makes stunning (and pricey) Hermitage and Cote Rotie wines, and provides the backbone for Chateauneuf du Pape. The grape that makes some kick ass California wines, particularly in the Sierra foothills and Paso Robles regions. The grape that is my favoritist in the whole wide world.

Yeah, that one. For some weird reason, the Aussies renamed the grape when they imported it. Don’t ask me why – Google kept mumbling some nonsense about Persians. I think Google’s been doing drugs again.

Whatever, syrah/shiraz is far and away the most widely grown grape variety on the continent. Top locations for shiraz in Australia include the Barossa Valley, the Clare Valley, the Yarra Valley, and Coonawarra. Most of these are near Adelaide in South Australia, the IN destination for the Australian wine traveler.

Whereas French syrah-based wines tend to be deep and complex, Australia shiraz’s tend to be big, loud, friendly and forward – like Aussies themselves. They’re usually, very fruity, spicy, jammy wines that anyone can drink and enjoy. In reality they are so different from the earthy, complex French syrahs or the dense California syrahs, that there really is no way to compare them. Autralian shiraz is a thing unto itself.

Yellow Tail 2006 South eastern Australia Shiraz

OK, I’ve already tasted this one in a previous column, but this is the one wine that everybody buys. I could hardly do a column on Australian wine without at least mentioning the yellow label. Huge spice on the nose. Wow. Cinnamon, allspice and tons of nutmeg. It’s almost like a pumpkin pie! A touch of floral aromas that evolve into vanilla and caramel. Damn! That’s yummy! On the palate, massive amounts of dark, simple fruit and spice. That nutmeg is overpowering. Maybe not for everyone, but this sure does goes down smooth. No wonder people love this stuff! 3.5 stars. Yow! $6.99 at every grocery store on the planet.

Jacob’s Creek 2003 South Australia Reserve Shiraz

Dark aromas of bramble, roasted coffee and a bit of toast, evolving into what I refer to as “aromatic esters”, kind of a banana smell without the banana, if that makes any sense. Not much fruit on the palate. Noticeable tannins. Very disappointing, actually. Not much going on. A big pass. 2.5 stars. $11.99 at Cost Plus.

Yalumba 2001 Barossa Shiraz

Seriously funkadelic on the nose – strong notes of earth, smelly cheese, and barnyard. Yeah, baby – very Burgundy. Definitely not for everyone, and definitely not very Australian – but very interesting and unusual nonetheless. On the tongue, a bit of spice, subdued blackberry fruit. Nowhere near as interesting as the nose. Eh. 2.75 stars. $14.99 at Cost Plus.

Jim Barry 2004 Clare Valley Shiraz “The Lodge Hill”

OK, now we’re cooking with gas. On the nose, a delightful spiciness that develops into serious aromas of camphor, eucalyptus, oregano and a touch of citrus peel. Sounds more like an herbal tea than a wine, but this complex spiciness is more than offset by a base of dense dark fruits. On the palate, strongly spicy, carrying over the camphor flavor, counterbalanced by dark rich flavors of blackberry and black cherry. A bit of a floral flourish on the finish. Easily the most complex and interesting of the bunch – fruity, but miles from simple plonk. 3.75 stars. $22 at Vino 100.

P.S. I was glad to see that Vino 100 opened only 8 days after a thirsty SUV crashed their party and took out a whole wall of wine bottles. Although the decor still looks a bit, uh, 'unfinished' in places, drop by and give Debby your condolences. They still have plenty of wine and it appears that their entire stock of New Clairvaux was spared.

Tasty Tastings

The Chico ER is worthless (big surprise to hear that coming from a columnist for a struggling weekly). I don't watch TV news, but a couple of people told me they saw a TV news story about old lady driving through the front window of Vino 100. So I went to the Chico ER website and spent about 15 minutes trying to find word one on the story. Nada. A Google search turned up only two media sources that mentioned the story: the KNVN website and - guess what - the Chico Beat. Isn’t the ER supposed to be the daily news source for Chico? Kudos to KNVN and the Beat for actually covering local news. Sheesh.

Anyway, my sincere condolences to Debby Stewart and the crew at Vino 100. I saw a photo of the accident on the KNVN website, and I know that old lady took out your entire collection of Riedel stemware (that's the fancy stuff that costs up to $80 a glass). Ouch! There were a couple of real nice decanters in that window display as well. What a shame.

Of course, an accident like that could make great fodder for a person like me, but things like that are a bit less funny when you know the people involved, so I’m going to pass.

What I’m not going to pass on is an opportunity to write about the two “wine tasting shops” (for lack of a better phrase) that we have here in Chico: Vino 100 (sporting a brand new front door, I hear) and Creekside Cellars.

The tough part about writing this particular column – and the reason that I’ve put it off so long – is that it’s difficult to be the sarcastic, snobby wine writer without saying something that might cause these people to spit in the next glass of wine they serve me.

See what I mean? Of course they would never do that, but it’s difficult to balance journalistic honesty with a desire to get free tastes of wine. But I’ll do my best.

Vino 100 and Creekside Cellars are very similar in basic concept. They’re both a nicely appointed shops with wine bottles lining the walls and small tables to sit at and taste the wares. A selection of wines are available for tastings at certain times. Call them to find out when and what they'll be tasting.

The local Vino 100 (www.vino100chico.com) on Mangrove next to Sports LTD, is run by the enthusiastic Debby Stewart, and is based on the noble concept of “one hundred great wines for $25 or less.” Indeed, though I haven’t counted, they certainly have at least that many varieties of wines. In addition, they carry far and away the widest selection of locally produced wines of any place in town. Sadly, many of these local wines suck (see, now I’m in trouble), but I think it’s truly wonderful that Vino 100 is supporting local wineries and giving them exposure to consumers. I honestly think that the more people try local wines, the more incentive these wineries will have to produce better wines.

Creekside Cellars (www.creeksidecellars.com), just around the corner near Morning Thunder, is owned and operated by Brenda and Dennis McLaughlin. They have a somewhat more eclectic (and in some cases much more expensive) selection of wines that Vino 100. Aside from the wine selection, the big draw at Creekside Cellars is the cheese case. They have a small but incredible selection of local and international cheeses. The aged Gouda is the crack cocaine of cheeses. Seriously. They have a huge wheel of the stuff. Someday, I’m going to break in at night and steal it.

Though I like wine tasting at both, it’s always amused me how different they are atmosphere-wise. Vino 100 is more Rock n’ Roll and baseball, while Creekside Cellars is more Classical music and cricket (OK, the cricket metaphor doesn’t work, but you get the idea). Thursday nights at Vino 100 can definitely take on a party atmosphere, while any night at Creekside Cellars won’t be much different than visiting a nice restaurant.

And that’s fine. Depending upon your mood you can go to either place. If you want a quiet evening, go to Creekside Cellars. If you want to socialize and have a good time, go to Vino 100.

What about the wines? Personally I've tended to like the wines I’ve tasted at Creekside Cellars better, but then Creekside Cellars isn’t afraid of serving a $50 bottle of wine. On the other hand, Vino 100 has an amazing willingness to try some offbeat wines you’d never get to taste otherwise. Some of those are hits and some are misses, but if you are the experimental type, Vino 100 might be more your taste.

In the end, they’re both worth visiting. You’ll get to try new wines from new places, and trying new wines is the only way to learn what wines you like.

Homework

Come on, do I really have to spell it out? Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are we? OK, OK. Your homework is to visit both Vino 100 and Creekside Cellars. Not just one – both. Tell them that Tony sent you. But please, visit them on separate nights. I don’t want you driving through anyone’s front window.

Oh Shenandoah

Last week I did a quick review of a few of the wineries in the Fair Play region of Eldorado County. If you keep heading south 10-15 minutes from Fair Play, you'll cross the Amador County line and come upon the Shenandoah Valley wine district.

No, this isn't the Shenandoah Valley of song and legend. There's no rolling river through this valley. However, it is a beautiful valley of rolling oak-dotted hills, interspersed with green vineyards, well worth a Sunday drive. But there’s more to see here than just pretty trees.

If you’re coming south from Fair Play, the first winery that you’ll encounter is Sobon Estate, right on the edge of the Shenandoah Valley. The wines here vary widely in quality, though they make an excellent reserve zin (no really, I’m serious, this one is more than a booze bomb). I’ve also been impressed by their 2004 Reserve Carignane, which has a surprising complexity.

After Sobon Estate, there are several ways to go through the valley. You can stay on the main drag (Plymouth-Shenandoah Road), take a loop on Steiner Road, or turn off onto Shenandoah Schoolhouse Road. My recommendation is to take the Steiner Road loop and then continue down Shenandoah Schoolhouse Road.

The Steiner Road loop is home to several wineries, some more worthy of note than others. One of the biggest wineries in the area is Renwood Winery – you sometimes see their wines in grocery stores and at Cost Plus. Overall, I’m not too impressed with their offerings, other than a 1999 Amador County syrah I had once. Still, they have one of the largest and nicest tasting rooms in the valley.

One place well worth visiting on the Steiner loop is Amador Foothill Winery. Winemakers Katie Quinn and Ben Zeitman do an impressive job on just about all of their wines. My special favorite is their 2004 Katie’s Cote, a Rhone-style blend of syrah and grenache. This wine has earthly aromas, dense dark fruit flavors, with a touch of dark mocha on the finish. Excellent.

I was also impressed with their 2004 Sauvignon Blanc. This wine has just a touch of citrus on the nose, but much stronger notes of peach and apricot. Very nice and much fuller than your typical sauvignon blanc. Good acidity makes it very crisp and tart, with good notes of citrus and lemon rind. A very balanced and refreshing wine.

Once you emerge from the Steiner Road loop, cross the main highway and continue south on Shenandoah Schoolhouse Road. Give Karmere Winery a pass. We found their wines to be way too sweet and alcoholic for our tastes. They even had almond- and raspberry-flavored sparkling wines that were pretty nasty.

However, a little farther down the road and around a corner is Cooper Vineyards, where you can wash the raspberry flavor out of your mouth. A tiny tasting room packed with barrels greets you. But the wines here are consistently drinkable. Notables include their syrah, viognier and petite sirah.

Continuing south, you’ll pass Montevina Winery. Easily the largest winery in the Shenandoah Valley, Montevina wines can be found in grocery stores everywhere. Which is why I’ve never stopped in for a tasting. Maybe their wines are OK. I honestly don’t know.

On your way back to the main road, you’ll see the imposing Bella Piazza Winery on your left. Ah, Napa comes to the Sierra foothills. This large tourist trap is filled to the rafters with hideous knickknacks. Tuscan-style paintings, rugs, huge terra cotta jars – everything is for sale at Napa prices. Oh yeah, they also have a tasting room, but don’t expect to talk to the owner or winemaker. The girl who served us was nice, but knew virtually nothing about the wines. Do I even need to comment on the quality of the wines?

Once you get back to the main road, there is one more place to stop – the best winery on the whole trip. So turn right, back up the valley, to Domaine de la Terre Rouge. I can’t say enough about this place. They make – hands down – the best Rhone-style wines of any winery in Amador or Eldorado counties.

My personal favorite is the 2000 Sierra Foothills Syrah. Strong, fruit-driven aroma. Waves of dense dark fruit, pencil lead, blueberry, black pepper and spice. Very intense and complex. On the palate, again dark, huge fruit flavors, but balanced by notes of vanilla, pepper and spice. Mild tannins. Amazingly balanced and complex.

However, any of their syrahs are excellent, including their Sentinel Oak and Les Cotes de l’Quest syrahs. Their Ascent syrah has even gotten national recognition, though I’ve never been able to afford a bottle. They also make a truly excellent mourvèdre.

Homework

Yeah, I know, you just got back from Fair Play, and now I’m sending you right back down to the Shenandoah Valley. Tough.

Directions: The best way to go is to head to Sacramento and then out Highway 16 to Plymouth.

Worth a Hit: Domaine de la Terre Rouge, Amador Foothill, Sobon Estate, Cooper Vineyards

Worth a Miss: Karmere, Stonehouse, Story, Bella Piazza

Dinner: Without a doubt, the best restaurant within 10 miles of the Shenandoah Valley is Taste (http://www.restauranttaste.com/) in Plymouth. Superior food, excellent, knowledgeable service, and a good selection of local wines. A must.

Playing Fair

As you may have figured out by now, you’re never going to get a trip review from me for Napa Valley. Sure, there are some great – world class – wines from Napa, but the wine tasting experience there isn’t even remotely enjoyable for me. Crowded, over-hyped and expensive; that’s how I characterize it. A big part of what makes wine tasting enjoyable for me is the relaxed atmosphere; talking with the winemaker him- or herself and enjoying the rural environment.

One of the best places to still capture this experience – and taste some surprisingly stunning wines – is in the Sierra Foothills, only a couple of hours from Chico. This week, I’ll talk about the Fair Play region of Eldorado County. Next week I’ll talk about the Shenandoah Valley of Amador County.

The Fair Play region (roughly 20 minutes south of Placerville) is perhaps the most under-appreciated wine making region in California. Like Lodi, the area is “famous” for its burnt and overblown fruit bomb zinfandels with 16% alcohol, but in my opinion you should skip the zins altogether. What this region really surpasses at are Rhone wines – the syrahs, grenaches and viogniers that hail from the Rhone valley of France.

And one of the best-known places for Rhone wines in Fair Play is Holly's Hill Vineyards (http://www.hollyshill.com/). Holly's Hill prides itself on making Rhone wines and in comparing their wines to Cotes du Rhone and Chateauneuf du Papes from France. And though they can’t quite compete with a quality Chateauneuf du Pape, they do make some truly top-notch wines. One wine that stands out is the 2004 Wylie-Fenaughty Syrah. This was wine has a truly earthy complexity and is well worth seeking out. Overall, all of Holly's Hill wines are a clear cut above of the highly alcoholic zinfandel fruit bombs that many of the wineries in this area churn out. Holly’s Hill is easily in the top five or six wineries to visit in the area.

Just down the road from Holly’s Hill is Heaven’s Gate Vineyards (http://www.narrowgatevineyards.com/). I missed this winery on my first few trips to the area, but it’s very much worth a stop. Like Holly’s Hill, Narrow Gates owners and Los Angeles escapees Frank and Teena Hildebrand specialize in Rhone Valley wines. I haven’t had the chance to do more than taste their wines at the winery, but their syrah and viognier were both excellent. I will definitely be returning to taste their wines in more detail.

Probably the best overall winery in the Fair Play area is Windwalker Vineyards (http://www.windwalkervineyard.com/). Interestingly enough, while most other wineries focus on either zinfandel booze bombs or refined Rhone wines, owner Arnie Gilpin focuses the weight of his craft on Bordeaux style wines, based on cabernet sauvignon and cabernet franc. And it shows.

Easily the most developed, most complex, and most profound wine produced in the entire Fair Play region is Windwalker’s Lady in Red Bordeaux blend. Both the 2002 and 2003 vintages (when properly decanted) are absolutely stunning wines that – seriously – could complete with cabernets from Napa and Sonoma. How he gets such complex and full-bodied cabernets in this region I don’t know, but no one else seems to be able to replicate his success. All the other cabs I’ve had in this region were worth a pass.

There is another place also worth your attention, though there is no tasting room, and not even any winery – at least not yet. My partner and I had the great pleasure to taste a syrah from Bechard Vineyards (http://bechardvineyard.com/) at a local restaurant. We were extremely impressed with their 2003 Herbert Vineyard Syrah and decided to look up the seemingly homeless winemakers.

We ended up spending a truly wonderful day talking and tasting wines with Andrea and Ted Bechard in their half-built home near Fair Play. The walls weren’t even complete and the winter wind blew right through the four of us, but there can be no more warming experience than tasting wonderful, interesting wines with the very people who made them. To me, that experience – four people sitting around talking about wine and life – is still the high point of my wine tasting experience.

You can still find that experience in California, but you have to be willing to look for it. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Homework

Do I need to spell it out? Head down to the Fair Play region this weekend and taste some wines. Do us all a favor and skip the zinfandels. You might be able to arrange a tasting with the Bechards, but please, don’t everyone overwhelm them at once. Absolutely do not miss Windwalker Vineyards.

Directions: Go to Placerville. Turn south. How hard could it be?

Worth a hit: Windwalker, Holly’s Hill, Narrow Gate, Mount Aukum, Busby

Worth a miss: Fleur de Lys, Granite Springs, Toogood, Winery by the Creek, Oakstone

Dinner: The Gold Vine Grill in Somerset (http://www.goldvinegrill.com/). Owner Mary Kemp is a wonderful person to talk to and knows everything about the local wines. And the food is superb. Best thing to do is show up at 3:30 for the afternoon tasting menu. Great wines and tasty small plates. Yum!

Ge-whatsa-meener?

I've left German wines for last in my lexicon on wine pronunciations for a couple of reasons, but mostly because German wine terms include some of the biggest, longest, most tongue-twistingess words out there. I’m not sure what it is with the Germans; maybe spaces are rare and expensive, but whatever the case, they sure seem to like to string words together. Where the Italians will come up with a long name of three or four words (like “Vernaccia di Serrapetrona”), the Germans like to jam them all together in one really, really long word.

There’s nothing wrong with that if you’re a native German speaker, but the uninitiated tend to blanch when they encounter a word like “trockenbeerenauslese”, which simply means “selected dry berries” – or more literally, “selecteddryberries”. German is full of words like that. How about “weingärtnergenossenschaft”?

No wonder they started a couple of World Wars – they were probably pissed that no one could pronounce their language (or pissed that they had to).

As far as pronunciation goes, I always had trouble with German (no duh). It seems like it should be like English – much of the English language comes from German – but they have some tongue-twisting ways of putting letters together and then saying them. The best thing you can do to improve your German pronunciation is hawk up a big load of phlegm, but don’t spit it out. Just keep it in your mouth and try to talk around it. Crude, I know, but it does wonders every time.

The most obvious difference in German is how “w” is pronounced. Ve all know this one, don’t’ ve? In German “w” is pronounced like “v”.

Gewürztraminer = guh-VURTS-trah-mee-ner
Weingärtnergenossenschaft = VINE-gart-nur-geh-NAW-sehn-shaft

“Th is pronounced as “t”. Yes, you’ve been saying “Neanderthal” wrong all this time, you knuckle-dragging Neanderthal.

Müller-Thurgau = MEW-lerr TOUR-gow
Thanisch = TAH-nihsh

Vowels are tricky in German, particularly “ie” and “ei”. I was always saying them wrong. But I finally realized that you pronounce the second vowel and ignore the first. So “ie” is pronounced as “e” and “ei” is pronounced as “i”. Cool.

Riesling = REEZ-ling
Mittelrhein = MIHT-uhl-rine

The letters “Ch” are pronounced as “k” (with a bit of spit thrown in at the end), but not if part of “sch”.

Bereich = beh-RICK
Sachsen = ZAHKH-zuhn

An “e” at the end of a word is often pronounced as “uh”.

Trockenbeerenauslese = TRAWK-uhn-bay-ruhn-OWS-lay-zuh
Grosslage = GROSS-lah-guh

“Pf” is pronounced as “f”.

Rheinpfalz = RINE-faults

In fact there are so many weird pronunciations in German that there’s no way I could cover them all. It’s just too flurbereinigung.

Homework

Your homework this week is supposed to be tasting German wines. Well, good luck finding a real German wine in Chico. CostPlus has a couple of bottles and Creekside Cellars has - count 'em - one. You may have to settle for a California- or Washington-grown version of German Riesling or Gewurztraminer. Both are light, often sweet white wines.

Wines of the Week

Dr. H Thanisch 2005 Riesling
Very tart, green apple aroma. Very nice. Just a touch of nectarine and muskmelon on the nose. This wine has the slightest touch of frizzante (a fancy word for fizz), which is nice. It's sweet, almost a bit cloying, so if you like only truly dry wines, this might not appeal to you. The acidity is a bit weak on this wine, so it's not as crisp and refreshing as it might be. Available at CostPlus for $15.99. 3 stars.









Sander Halbtrocken Riesling
Halbtrocken means "half dry", and this is a lightly sweet wine. Muskier and less aromatic than the Thanisch, it has more nectarine and apricot on the nose. On the palate there is no frizzante, but that is more than made up for by a really refreshing crispness. Very nice and enjoyable. This wine goes great with Indian food. I'm not kidding - Rieslings generally pair well with curries and other spicy Asian foods. Available at Creekside Cellars for $12.99. 3.5 stars.

The Good, the Bad and the Unpronounceable

Odds are that you know only one word regarding Italian wines: chianti. And who could blame you? I'm convinced that the reason nobody knows anything about Italian wines is because Italian wines are confusing as hell. I mean, there's like 475 different wine producing regions in Italy. Every little village seems to have its own wine that nobody else produces.

For example, the montepulciano grape comes from Abruzzi in east-central Italy (somewhere above the Achilles tendon in the Italian boot), and wines called "Montepulciano d'Abruzzo" must be at least 85% montepulciano grape and come from the Abruzzi region. Fair enough. But Vino Nobile di Montepulciano is a wine that comes from Tuscany, and is made from the sangiovese grape (the same variety used in chianti), not the montepulciano grape. Huh? Now why would they go and do a thing like that? I thought Italians were nice people.

Where the French are very stuffy and uptight about their wines, I get the feeling that the Italians really don't care. They make great wines, no mistake about it, but they just don't care much about what's called what or defined how or made with what grape. Everybody just does their own thing. As a result, there are a million different types of wines, from barolos and barbarescos to brunello de montalcinos and buttafuocos (I kid you not. You really think I would I make up a name like that?).

It's a consumer nightmare.

I'll go into Italian wines in more detail once I've learned something about them, but today's column is about pronouncing Italian wine terms.

Italian words are easy to pronounce as long as you gesticulate wildly as you talk. OK, OK, that was a cheap shot, but for some reason it really does seem to help. Actually Italian wine terms wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t so many weird tongue-twisters. Things like “Amarone della Valpolicella” and “Lambrusco Grasparossa di Castelvetro”. When it comes to big long names, the Italians are almost as bad as the Germans.

OK, the rules:

If a word ends in “e”, it’s pronounced as its own syllable.

Sangiovese = san-joh-VAY-zeh
Amarone = ah-mah-ROH-neh

If a word has “ci” in it, the letters are pronounced “ch”.

Montepulciano = mon-te-pool-CHAH-noh
Montelcino = mon-tall-CHEE-noh

If a word has “ce” in it, the letters are pronounced “che”.

Docetto = dole-CHET-oh
Valpolicella = vol-paw-lee-CHEL-lah

If a word has “ch” in it, the letters are pronounced “k”. Isn’t this all backwards?

Chianti = kee-AHN-tee

The letters “gna” are pronounced “nyah”, just like “lasagna”.

Albana di Romagna = ahl-BAH-nah dee roh-MAH-nyah
Carmignano = kahr-mee-NYAH-noh

Homework

Today’s homework is as simple as last week’s. Try a bottle of Italian wine. Strangely enough, you can probably find a better selection of Italian wines in Chico than French wines. Creekside Cellars, in particular, has an interesting (if sometimes pricey) selection. Cost Plus World Market also carries a small selection. Be forewarned that Italian reds (other than thin insipid chiantis) tend to be BIG wines that need some bottle aging or heavy pasta sauce to cut them down to size. They're not delicate sipping wines.

Wines of the Week

2003 Da Vinci Chianti

Rustic aromas, with lots of vanilla, a touch of herbs and spices, and a faint echo of blackberry bramble. On the palette, it's clear that this wine is past its prime. A bit flat, somewhat tart with just a faint echo of fruit that died a year or two ago. These cheap (uh, affordable) Chiantis are meant to be drunk the day you buy them, so holding it as long as I did was a mistake. Probably decent in its time. Just about anywhere, about $11. 2.5 stars.









2001 Canonico Negroamaro

This little wine hails from the heel of Italy and is actually pretty decent. Rich, with a hint of wood smoke and spice. Not fruity on the nose. Mild red fruit on the palette, but more earthy than fruity. Certainly different from your California fruit bomb. Light, smooth tannins, and a tartness that would go well with pasta. 3 stars. $17.00 at Vino 100.











2001 Allegrini Palazzo Della Torre

I had the 2000 vintage of this wine and it was stunning in its complexity and earthiness. In fact, I bought the last two bottles of the 2000 that Cost Plus had. The 2001, unfortunately, pales in comparison. It's not a bad wine - in fact, its very good - but the 2000 was an incredible wine. A bit of earthiness to this on the nose, and a touch of licorce and spice - oregano and green pepper. Not very fruity or dense, a nice tartness and assertive tannins...but nothing like the 2000. If you can score a bottle of the 2000, pay whatever it takes. Available at Creekside Cellars and Cost Plus for about $20. 3 stars.